


Feels like Rain

by venomousOctopus



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5038933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venomousOctopus/pseuds/venomousOctopus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flickers of an image haunted him lately. It was always the same: of a beautiful woman, silver tears trailing down her cheeks like the neverending rain of the Junkyard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels like Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Major spoiler warnings for pretty much all of both dds1 and dds2. I love Gale's struggles with trying to figure out himself and how Jenna Angel fits into all of it so much, and I think it's really sweet and tragic. Jenna/junkyard!Gale is so horrifically tragic and good and i love it so much let me di

The first time her face flashed through his mind, Gale thought nothing of it. Unusual things had been happening, and hallucinations and daydreams were the last cause of concern when one had a demonic alter-ego that required cannibalism to survive. More oddly, however, was his teammates all exhibiting impulses and thoughts that went against all logic. Emotions- that's what Sera called it, wasn't it? He couldn't understand it at the time. Why Argilla and Heat argued so often despite being in the same team with the same goals. Why Cielo treated them all so informally, using such terms as 'buddy' and 'brudda', as well as talking to the small black beast sometimes. Why Serph rejected Gale's proposals for a plan in lieu of one that's more dangerous and with a bigger margin of error, simply because he felt it was unfair to the foot soldiers.

He didn't understand them at all. With his teammates becoming more incomprehensible by the day, and with the strain of trying to keep their Atma forms under control, the passing images in his head were not something he could focus on too much.

There were times however, when he wondered. A black-haired individual was unheard of in the junkyard before Sera, and he could figure through that simple fact that perhaps this woman was also somehow related to all this. He hadn't mentioned the images to the others yet, but with the little bit of knowledge he had on their, er- ' _personalities_ ', he estimated that if any of them had had the same vision, they would have most likely mentioned it by now- yes? Cielo would have, at least.

But his questions about her faded fast, and though his lingering curiosity stayed at the back of his mind, they all had more important things to do.

XXXXX

"She's just pissed because her girlfriend is dead."

Gale didn't understand the meaning of the word 'girlfriend' at the time, but it felt familiar to him.The word left a twist in his stomach that he couldn't explain as a natural bodily function, and he clenched his fist involuntarily, even as he stated his confusion to Heat, who merely shook his head disappointedly. He pushed it out of his mind but kept the word on his lips as he resumed his job as a member of the Embryon: joining Serph and navigating the Maribel base

It was a long while after that he could speak to Sera again, but the word flashed through his mind when he saw her hanging around the Embryon base. The logical conclusion to him, therefore, was to ask her what a girlfriend was. Though she seemed genuinely surprised by the question, she thought on it for a bit before she replied.

"It's like...a girl you really like, and she also really likes you."

"So, it is a gender specific version of what you were speaking of earlier? 'Comrades', yes?"

"Ah- sort of? But not really. It's a different kind of like."

"Different kind? I do not comprehend."

"Maybe you will someday."

He doubted he could, but the answer seemed to relax him somewhat. Thoughts of the black haired woman lingered in the back of his mind, and Gale found himself feeling a little satisfied at the vague explanation. Whoever that woman was, she was important. He knew he had to find her.

XXXXX

**  
**

Lupa had dreams too, dreams of a child. The other members of the Embryon seemed surprised by the idea of these dreams, thus confirming his theory that he really was the only one with visions of her- or anyone, for that matter.

More importantly however, Lupa asked them if they really knew themselves. How did they come to be? Why were they fighting this war? How did they know of children and cats, when they simply did not exist in the Junkyard? Gale had never felt the need to question it, and even now, nothing felt unnatural to him as his comrades exclaimed and agreed with the Wolves Tribe leader.

In one of their short moments of break, something nagged in Gale, and he took the moment to go to the man. "Lupa?"

"Ah- Gale, is there something you need me for?"

"You said you saw visions of a child, correct? What is the nature of that relationship?"

"Well, I am his father- or, I suppose, the one who made him, in the simplest terms"

"Hm" Gale held his chin in thought

"Is there a reason you're asking?" Lupa asked, slightly amused. "I would think you would have other questions for me." **  
**

"Where... do you suppose this child would be?"

"Somewhere outside of the Junkyard, most likely." Lupa paused, before chuckling to himself dryly. "Unless the vision is simply a meaningless side effect of the demon virus"

"I sincerely doubt it is." Lupa looked up at him, and Gale froze, a little surprised by his own assurance. He cleared his throat before continuing. "...I exhibit the same symptoms, I believe. Though the vision is of a woman"

"Then perhaps you also have something you need to say to someone."

"...Perhaps."

There was a silence between them. Gale didn't know what else to ask him; it wasn't like him to act so impulsively and without any plans beforehand. He was about to turn to go to the others before Lupa stopped him.

"Gale, I said this before, and I will say it again- I can see honour in your eyes. Though you might not think it now, I believe you."

The suddenness of the statement caught Gale off guard, and it took him a second to reply. "What brought you to that conclusion, exactly?"

"I... I don't know." Lupa admitted, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. He then shrugged, and added: "Some things can't be comprehended, only felt. Perhaps you'll understand one day"

Lupa let go, and walked past him to join the others, leaving Gale to wordlessly watch him go. His eyes flashed green for only a moment, and he followed after the other man, pushing any stray questions he had out of his mind. It was only a matter of time before they reached the end of this sewer, and there wasn't any more time to waste.

 

XXXXX

 

When Lupa died, he finally understood. He understood what Sera meant by emotions. His body felt heavier, as if his bones were made of lead, and he felt something hot bubble through his veins as the hair on his skin prickled. Was this sadness? Was this anger? As Gale watched the last remnants of the honourable man fade away, he felt something in him snap, and glared up above him, his eyes burning green.

"Whether you be angel or demon," He roared, "you will pay for this hell!"

 

XXXXX

Seeing her on top of the tower was like a punch to the gut; all air whooshed out of him and upon regaining his breath, he murmured: 'Is that...Angel?' on instinct. His pulse rushed under his skin as it would before a fight, but his atma mark didn't burn in anticipation. His heartbeat increased, and his green eyes hyper-focused on the woman standing on top of the steps.

It was her. The black-haired woman from his dreams. Just as beautiful as he could recall, but there was an air of malevolence around her. It was wrong. She seemed so _wrong_. He didn't know why he immediately associated her with 'Angel'. It felt natural, like children, like cats, and like amusement parks. Things he knew but didn't quite know why. As the name settled in his mind he felt nauseous for the first time since devouring Lupa.

 _Angel_. She was the one who infected them with the demon virus. She was the one responsible for this hell. She was their last obstacle before Nirvana. And she was the one that...

...What was she to him? Was she a comrade he didn't know of? Was it an instinct of the demon virus, of the creation and their creator? Did she also dream of him? She didn't seem to recognize him.

Just who _was_ she?

He never got the answer, as Angel attacked.

 **  
** XXXXX

 

Though he didn't trust Roland at first, he felt more at ease around him after he had proven his alliance to the Embryon and joined them. Though they didn't have much time before the plan to free the captives in the food processing plant was stated to begin, Serph had led them back to Roland's room to take a quick break, giving the team a chance to catch their breath before starting.

While Serph and Roland were off to stock up on supplies, Argilla looked over at the computer that Roland had used to explain their situation. She still seemed a little shocked to know that they were all computer data, but accepted the news without much complaint. She stared at the screen for a moment before looking over at Gale

"You know, I didn't think much of it then- but how did you know she was Angel?"

He did not expect that.

Gale touched the bridge of his nose, and breathed slowly before speaking: "The being that was ruling over the 'new' Junkyard called itself Angel. There was a person on top of the Karma temple, and presumably our last obstacle before reaching Nirvana. It's only natural to associate that person with Angel, isn’t it?"

"Well, yeah, but...I don't know, you seemed to recognize her."

Cielo had been examining the bottles in the room at the time, and he perked up as he heard the conversation. He turned around, and leant over the back of the couch.

"Argilla's right bro, there's _no_ way any one of us could figure dat out." He pointed his finger towards Gale and smiled widely. "And don't say dat it's just because you're _soooo_ smart."

Gale fell silent, and refused to comment any further. Both Argilla and Cielo pouted and looked over at Fred in unison, who was fiddling in his seat uncomfortably. Though the boy was significantly more comfortable around Tuners than his guardian was, he still tried to remain silent throughout the current conversation, waiting impatiently for Serph to return. Noticing their eyes were on him, Fred straightened up. "What is it?" he asked, irritation in his voice.

"Hey... Fred," Argilla drawled, keeping her tone casual, "Do you remember the name of the scientist who discovered the Cuvier Syndrome?

"I don't remember every detail of Roland's crazy rants-"

"-Jenna Angel, naturally."

Gale realized what he had done, and looked over at the wall, falling silent once more. Argilla and Cielo's stares fell on him again, their faces stuck between triumph and genuine surprise

"So you _do_ know her." Argilla said.

"Know... is an overstatement. I have had visions of her sometimes, but that is the extent of my knowledge."

"And you didn't tell us this before?!"

"I saw it as unnecessary information. What would you have said if I did tell you of it?"

"I- I don't know." Argilla stuttered. "But this is definitely not unnecessary information, Gale! _She_ was the one who made us into- into these monsters!

"Also-" Cielo interjected, staring at Gale a little suspiciously. "I _saw_ you help her up those steps, mon. Back when the Karma Temple exploded."

"She would have been valuable for interrogation- I would have thought any one of you would have done the same"

A bang of the door indicated Serph and Roland's arrival.

"We got all the dis-whatevers your heart could desire!" Roland exclaimed proudly, completely oblivious to the atmosphere. "Let's get the operation going."

Gale stood up then, and turned away from the three people on the couch. "Excellent. Then it's high time we move as well." He didn't give another glance back at Argilla, Fred or Cielo, who all looked at each other uneasily before joining them.

XXXXX

Gale expected to find her here, he was preparing himself for it- but he still couldn't anticipate this odd feeling of seeing her again. Much like when he was at the top of the Karma tower, he felt something he could only describe as the excitement of a hunt, but with no real desire to harm.

Jenn- _Angel_ handed them the keys to the gyroplane and the words were out of his mouth before he could rethink them.

"Why? Why are you helping us?"

Her smile turned dark, and to him it seemed a little forced. "I want everyone to have an equal chance," she murmured, and Gale felt a shiver go down his spine despite himself.

Every word she uttered felt rehearsed, too static, too much like she was reading off a script. Beneath her words and her _(achingly familiar)_ voice, he knew without a doubt in his mind that she was lying. _A world of chaos? Of eternal conflict between the rest of the human race? That's not what she wants._ Yes, she was the one who created the demon virus, but did she truly care about the human race reaching enlightenment?

His teammates reacted understandably. He was grateful, perhaps, that Argilla and Cielo hadn't paid much attention to him at this moment, too vehemently in opposition to the woman in front of them.

"And to that end you'd turn all of humanity into demons, so they could devour each other?

"Asura's logic algorithm is flawless," she laughed, a dark chuckle that he knew was wrong somehow. "Except for one side-effect: you've gained humanity"

He looked at her suspiciously, did nobody notice she was dodging the question? "And for that, I assume you'd require Sera as well?"

She had looked at Gale with some surprise then. "Intelligence can be quite a nuisance sometimes," she said, turning to avoid his stare. "No more questions"

He couldn't get another word in before his vision faded, another scene flashing through his mind. He saw Angel again, but there was someone else with her: a man with blonde hair, blue eyes- a man who appeared to be dying. _"David"_

As soon as the vision came, it faded with the harsh sound of the building's alarm. Angel urged them to hurry, still unmoving from her spot behind her desk, and he couldn't do anything but stare at her back in a daze. His feet were glued to the ground, and it took Cielo pushing and shoving him with a "What are you doin', bro?" to get him to finally leave the director's office.

If he was too quiet during the ride to the E.G.G facility, no one commented on it.

XXXXX

He caught himself saying "Jenna" too often lately. It was another habit he found himself developing that he couldn't really explain, like touching the bridge of his nose. Fred was the only one that seemed to notice, looking at him with that annoyed-yet-worried expression he had so often gave to Roland when he was still with them.

Margot Cuvier had given up her plan by now, he concluded. Under current circumstances, with God absorbing the data of Earth at such a rapid rate, neither her nor Jenna's visions for the future would last more than a day. Yet Jenna herself continued to oppose them. Did she really want to turn all of humanity into demons

...Or did she just not want humanity to thrive at all? So flawed and horrible, so selfish and idiotic, did she see humans the same way God did?

He doubted he could bring up the topic to Cielo, Sera or Fred at the moment, too shaken up by the deaths of their comrades at Meganada's hands. At Jenna Angel's hands. His fist clenched, his nails digging into his palms as he thought of it. He truly resented her for her actions. He resented her for doing this to them. He wanted to make her pay for everything that had happened- turning both this world and the Junkyard into a never ending hell of teeth, blood and constant hunger.

Then he would catch himself saying her name, "Jenna", and his anger would dissipate into sorrow.

XXXXX

This was the third time he saw Jenna, and once more he felt the now-familiar thudding of his heartbeat. After regaining Serph, after the death of Heat and the stories of O'Brien and Sheffield, of Sera and Nurse Argilla, he finally understood something. He finally understood why he was never mentioned by Varin, or remembered Sera as a friend before all this. He had come to understand why he loves (or was it loved?) Jenna Angel.

"This has gone on long enough.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jenna asked.

"David wanted you to help people."

Her eyes widened, glazing over in an expression that too-painfully mirrored the ones from his visions. Her desperate attempts to argue with him were so in contrast with her otherwise regal air, and it was obvious she was panicking. His heart felt as heavy as it had when Lupa died, and it _hurt_ to see her so weak like this, more than any wound he had received from fighting. He didn't falter as he kept talking, and even if his desire to help her was simply a residue of David's memories, he found he didn't care.

"He took pride in his work. He loved people-" Gale opened up his arms, smiling gently. "...And he loved you"

Her voice cracked. "You don't know anything!"

The sharp pain through his stomach was one he should have anticipated, and Jenna froze, seemingly in disbelief at what she just did. He gently laid a hand on her shoulder, and when she looked up at him, he could already see regret on her face.

There was not much else he could do now. Taken off guard, it was easy enough to return the favour to Jenna, a last resort to make sure she did not try to stop the others from reaching the plane. He hoped it would not have come to this, but it was too late now. Toppling backwards with her warm form on top of him, he felt at peace, finally finding the answer he was looking for all this time. He could hear Jenna murmuring something to him, a quiet whisper he could feel in his chest. "Is this what you wanted...? You're just...data."

He laid his arm across Jenna's back, and he felt her nuzzle up to him, her tears so cold in contrast with the blood pooling out of him. They lay still in harmony, the faint ringing of a bell the last thing they heard.

XXXXX

Fred didn't know how he ended up in this situation. It felt like a lifetime ago that the Tuners of the Embryon had all fought for God's forgiveness, and he was forever grateful for what they did. Even then, he didn't really understand the concept of reincarnation, or how he had ended up with six children with the exact same names as those people he met so many years ago. Serph was quiet, if a bit mischievous sometimes. Sera, bless her heart, was an absolute angel to everyone she met. Argilla was gentle but a little overbearing, even if she had good intentions. Cielo was a little rambunctious and reckless, but was ever the optimist. Heat...even if he had never truly met the older Heat, Heat was a temperamental, but sensitive kid, and Fred was glad he had adopted him. Gale was a calm child, but always curious- sometimes to his own detriment, since he loved to explore so often.

It was one day that Gale had come back with a girl his age. She was wearing a ratty t-shirt that fit her like a dress, and nothing else. Though Fred couldn't recognize her, he was curious how Gale managed to meet her. "Who's that Gale, a new friend?" He asked, cocking his head.

"Yeah! She was just in the forest!" He turned to look at the girl. "You said you don't have a mom or dad or anything, didn't you?"

The girl squeezed his hand, and shook her head wordlessly.

Fred's eyes widened in recognition, suddenly recalling why she seemed so familiar. "What's your name?" he asked, trying to give a gentle smile.

"...Jenna. I think."

Ah, he was right. "Well, Jenna, did you know Gale here was also lost for a really long time?" He put a hand to his chin, smirking. "...Except he wore a lot less than you did, ha."

"H-hey!"

"...Really?" The girl blinked.

"Yeah, he was just walking around in a paper bag he wore over his head!"

Jenna giggled softly, her free hand coming up to her mouth.

"...Since you don't have parents, how'd you like to stay with us for a while? I think you'd like the others a lot, too."

Her eyes widened, and she looked up at him with innocent hope in her eyes. Oh, how different she seemed now. "You'd really let me stay...?"

"Wai- Fred, really?"

"I have an extra room anyway, and Gale here could be in charge of teaching you all the rules."

Jenna's face lit up in disbelief, and she didn't say anything as she looked over from Gale, to Fred, then to Gale again. She held Gale's other hand, and gave them both a squeeze, smiling widely.

As Roland told him all those years ago, Karma is a funny thing. Looking at them both like this, he felt he understood now a little of what the older Gale must have felt back then. Even the older Angel must have paid for her misdeeds already, if she could live so carelessly and innocently now.

If he could give them both another chance like this, he would gladly take it.


End file.
